Successful Co-Parenting Strategies
Are you finding it difficult to navigate your way through co parenting with your ex? Are you worried you may put stress onto your child or children because of the split? Are you trying to balance a healthy relationship with both your ex, your own mental health, and your child or children’s relationship to both of their parents? Co parenting involves both parents sharing equal responsibility and parenting for their children. It is not easy, and takes some time to get used to, so here we have provided you with some helpful tools to guide you through this challenging transition, including looking into our family counseling and parent coaching services.
This process is timely, and it can feel painful and difficult, but you are not alone. Around 50 percent of all U.S. families are remarried or re-coupled, and about 66 percent of couples who live together will split while children are involved. While many go through this, there is still a great deal of stress involved. Some tools to help alleviate stress on you, your ex and your children are:
Encourage your children’s positive relationships with both parents and other family members or adult figures in their lives. Research shows that having caring adults in a child’s life provides them with greater confidence, advocating for themselves, increased communication skills, and knowing when to set boundaries to keep themselves safe.
Set healthy boundaries and rules as co-parents. The first place you can start is to learn what you are in control of, and that starts in your own home. You can create a positive environment in your own house to make sure your children are as comfortable as possible. The divorce or break-up do not play into co parenting, so stay formal, respectful, and business-like when communicating with your ex.
Have family meetings. It benefits your children to actively see you and your ex working together as a team, instead of two separate entities. Family meetings give a say to not only both parents, but to your children as well. This is a great way to encourage communication skills and decision making.
Be mindful of your choice of words or actions in front of your kids. Co parenting is not a competition, it is teamwork, so don’t ask your child or children what happens at their other parent’s home, and be sure not to speak negatively about your ex in front of your kids. This is important to show your kids that the separation was positive for everyone involved.
Consider going to co parenting counseling, family counseling, or parent coaching. Speaking with a therapist can be beneficial in allowing feelings to be heard and respected outside of the home. This can also be helpful if you are trying to co parent with a controlling or toxic ex, as we can give you tools to better communicate and set boundaries.
How do I navigate a high conflict co-parenting situation?
Co-parenting with an ex whom you have had high conflict with can be very difficult when it comes to communicating, setting boundaries, and offering advice or criticism. Limiting communication is one of the best ways to set a base for the situation between you and your ex. While they are still the parent of your child, it is important that you limit your own interactions with them to be the healthiest version of yourself. Avoid arguing, controlling situations out of your control, or using your child in any sort of way.
We know how frustrating times like these can be. Keeping these tips in the back of your mind when you are feeling a great deal of stress or emotions can help you stay mindful and to think before speaking or acting, especially in front of your kids. We offer family counseling and parent coaching, where we can support both you and your children during this journey.
Source: https://www.verywellfamily.com/strategies-
